best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
