idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
