Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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