I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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