My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
