Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
