the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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