you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
