I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
