Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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