Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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