i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
