I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
