why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
