Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
