it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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