I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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