it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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