i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
