well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize