cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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