That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
