when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
