do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I still have a little drunk in my system
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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