I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
As shirtless as possible
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
