I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I think I have vodka in my lungs
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
