I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
that is very illegal...i love you.
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