wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
