In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
