So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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