please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
