I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm both gender and math confused
and eventually we just all took our pants off
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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