i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
