I'm drive I can fine osifer
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
