dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
