physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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