you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
