Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Houston, we have a blender
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
