It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Pants are for mortals
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
