As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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