I'd wear matching sweaters with you
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
