He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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