? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
