I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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