what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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