Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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