my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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