the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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