remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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