You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
